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Calgon Take Me Away | The Maladroit Wife
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Calgon Take Me Away

18 Nov

I’m going through a time of trial.

It’s not that I have problems, just a job and a kitchen and a laundry basket.  But I can’t deal with those things now, so I escape to the interwebs for pictures of other ladies’ clean kitchens and folded laundry.  Some days it’s the only way his lungs stay in his chest cavity.

In case you are being purified by the refining fire, let me guide you along my online path to sanity…

Pill #1

Pinterest is an online cork board.  You see something, you want to reference it later, you don’t remember what ANY of the bookmarks are about in your browser file?  Pin it.  Visual bookmarks that you can access anywhere.  You will likely end up spending hours browsing the things other people have pinned.  Recipes, clothes, hairstyles, DIY projects, etc.  You can browse by category or just sift through the massive collection.
Side effects: feeling fat/ugly/messy when browsing fashion and hairstyle images; simultaneous feelings of starvation and weight gain when browsing recipes;  feelings of inadequacy at the mountainous list of DIY projects you’ve accumulated.

 

Pill #2

The Bloggess is my most recent find.  This is one of a few forums in which you can find this lady, and the only one I’ve checked out so far.  She’s unpredictable, she makes no sense, and her husband seems constantly ready to kill her.  We are sisters.
Side effects: outbursts of laughter.  Your coworkers will turn and stare.

 

Pill #3

Hulu is not new (though their new HuluPlus is pretty annoying), but my specific addiction to New Girl is new and deep.  You can have a horrendous day at work, spill coffee on everything, burn your toast AND your scalp with the curling iron, and this show WILL make you laugh.  Every time.  And I’m a tough customer – I don’t laugh at The Simpsons.
Side effects: NONE, unless you count that shriveled up, cross-eyed feeling you get after you stare at a computer for an entire season of something.

I wish you all the best in your adventures in escapism.  I’d love to hear what works for you, just lemme go refill my wine glass.

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