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Oh Look! | The Maladroit Wife
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Oh Look!

24 May

I have a short attention span.  This makes me challenging to be around in several ways.

In any given shopping situation, you might find me changing directions (let’s call this “Path B”) without warning or announcement because something caught my eye.  You would then find my husband continuing on Path A for quite some time before noticing my disappearance, hunting around until he finds me – I don’t stick up much above the racks – and reminding me yet again that he would like a little warning when I decide to tear off in the direction of whatever was shiny or polka-dotted.

He loves movies.  We have the largest collection of VHS tapes in the Central Time Zone.  He owns most of his favorite movies and likes to watch them while we cook or eat or do other chores.  Last night, he put on “Road to Perdition” while I cooked and he did some dishes.  About every 2 minutes, I said something like, “Who’s that guy” or, “What are they doing?” or, “Are they gangsters??”  This, apparently, was irritating.  I’ve been known to ask the same questions during an episode of Law & Order.  Supposedly, nobody else in the world has trouble following the plot of Law & Order.

Our house is too big.  We have about 2500 square feet.  My last place was about 1000 square feet, and I was only responsible for half of it.  Have you ever tried to clean 2500 square feet?  There’s SO MUCH TO DO that it’s hard to stay on one task for very long.  No, seriously.  You’re cleaning your office, and then your mind wanders to all the other things that need to be done.  There’s that box in the basement waiting to be sorted (does that mean emptied and spread around a 12-foot radius for anyone else?), or maybe the counters in the bathroom need to be wiped down.  Or maybe there’s a pair of socks that didn’t make it into the sock drawer, and I can NOT finish what I’m doing until one or three of those other tasks are complete.  Begin distraction task, repeat distraction.  This seems like a good time to mention that my mother-in-law’s house is Very Clean.

I try to put a positive spin on things.  I’m a silver lining kind of girl.  I’m trying to sell him on this silver lining being my endless curiosity, or my interest in all kinds of things that could bring richness and texture to our lives, but I’m pretty sure he just sees several pairs of half-made earrings, or the 12-foot spread of junk that at least used to be contained in a box.  He may be infinitely patient with me, but at least all my socks make it into the sock drawer.

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