Crazy Nines

I’m obsessed with the Enneagram.  I know that on some level, all of the personality typing systems are the same.  Do you like people or do you hate them?  [Depends on the day.]  Do your emotions overflow or do you bottle them?  [Bottle.]  Do you eat your feelings?  [Yes.  Definitely yes.]  But I can never resist a little reinvention.  Like, sometimes I have my gin with an olive, and sometimes with a twist.  Sometimes I want a meat-lover’s pizza, and sometimes I’m feeling a little more omnivorous.  I like having new language and systems for these personality types.  Plus, it’s always fun to have new people to discuss them with.  We got on the topic at the most recent book club meeting, and the more I think about it, the more I’m pretty sure I’ll recommend an Enneagram book the next time it’s my turn to choose.

I think I’m a 9.  Abraham Lincoln was a 9, so it can’t be so bad.  It says I’m a “peacemaker,” which I’m not sure is true, but that I have a basic fear of loss or separation.  I have a vivid memory of following a pair of legs around at the harbor in my hometown, and being VERY startled that they did not attach to my dad’s head.  Via torso, of course.  I also remember the guy who looked down at me seeming very amused, which I took as vicious mocking.  So yeah, we’re on the right track here.  My basic desire, as a 9, is to have something they call “inner stability,” or “peace of mind.”  I’ve heard of these things, but never found them.  I think that might be what I’m attempting with this here outlet.  There’s also a bit in the description of the 9 that suggests I may have several different personae.  While I’m sorry about that, I fear it may be true.

Of course, I immediately want to know what everyone else’s type is.  I’ve moved past “sanguine” and “phlegmatic” (really?  phlegm?) and all that INTJ stuff they made us do in school, and I want you all to give it to me in code.  Numeric code.  I think that a large part of what appeals to me about this particular system (aside from it being another opportunity for me to study ME) is that it seems like a secret language.
Here’s a recap of a recent conversation I had…
J: “I’m a 3.  All of my siblings are 3s.  That’s very unusual.”
Me: “I think I’m a 9.  Or a 4.  Or a 9.”
J: “Ooh, my mom is a 9.  They’re constantly mistyped.”
Me:  “They sound crazy, maybe I’m a 4.”
J: “My dad is an 8.”
Me: “Of course he is.  What else could he be?”

And so on, until we noticed that the rest of our friends were staring at us, totally perplexed.    Once they were filled in, the discussion naturally turned to how to dupe the menfolk into taking the quiz.  It didn’t seem to occur to us that they’d do it willingly, and maybe there’s something to that.  But it seemed to go without saying that it’d be even MORE fun to discuss them if we could apply our Secret Number Code.  Maybe we’ll even give them Spy Names, to add to the secrecy.  “Agent Cargoshorts is totally a 6.”

You want in, don’t you.  You can take a free test here or the full monty ($10) here.  I might disagree with your findings, as I’m pretty sure that one of my multiple personalities makes immutable decisions about other people.  Thanks for being my friend, though.