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The Maladroit Wife | Author Archives
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I Am Changed

4 Feb

woman-crushing-french-fries

I had a little business lunch with a friend the other day to flesh out an upcoming event and I ordered a sandwich with the upgrade to fries rather than the included option of potato salad. Why? Because FRIES. We all know that McDonald’s has the best fries, but I only go there when I’m […]

Living the Dream I Never Dreamed

27 Jan

stewardess+orange+dress

My career has taken me all over the country. To Manhattan, to the Vegas strip, to the beachfront in Miami, just to name a few. Because of these opportunities, I was able to complete the obstacle course set forth by the TSA like it was an Olympic time trial. Those days are OVER. The small […]

Please Don’t Poop Here

14 Nov

NO POOPING ALLOWED

I have been ignoring A Thing for a while, and when someone ELSE brought it up the other day, the bear was poked.  And you can’t unpoke the bear.  And apparently I rant now.  Sorry for that… But here’s the thing: if you’re reading this blog, odds are your life is pretty good.  You at […]

My Brown Ribbon Campaign

8 Nov

www.medindia.net

Have you ever looked up the list of awareness ribbon colors?  Holy moly.  There’s a BUTTER CREAM ribbon.  It is, I kid you not, for lactose intolerant individuals.   The brown ribbon stands for colorectal cancer awareness, or 8th place. I chose brown for my campaign because my favorite alcohols are brown.  I really like dark, […]

I Am A Trovert

7 Nov

hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

I recently sat next to someone in a group that was NOT Introverts Anonymous who introduced herself like this: “Hi, I am Sally and I’m an introvert.” Her name isn’t Sally, I made that up.  Also, that turned out not to be the most interesting thing about her. There has been a lot of buzz on […]

Pride Cameth

23 Oct

readrunning

And I fell. [narscosmetics.com] I know things, okay?  And I will tell you about them.  Sometimes I won’t even wait for you to ask.  Like the time I told you how to fly with your babies.  All of this was based entirely on one of two things happening: either you have someone with you or […]

Adventures in Casserole

30 Aug

hot dish

It’s not that I’m a great cook, I just like to eat and buying food that is already cooked is… expensive.  And I’d rather have new shoes than pre-made food. SO. I invent things.  It goes like this: “What should I make?” “Well, I’m pretty lazy, and I’m craving Mexican… sounds like Mexican Casserole night!” […]

In Which I DID THINGS

22 Aug

bonbons

I flew solo last weekend, so obviously there was much feet-up and bon-bonning… Yeah, not at all.  I kept myself as busy as humanly possible, and even did some NEAT STUFF in there. Among the more-ordinary-but-still-fun things were meals with friends, walks to the park, and iced lattes.  Cold and caffeinated?  I’ll take 6. Saturday […]

Not What I Meant To Cook

15 Aug

cooking

I am not a gifted cook.  I am lucky. I “caramelize” (burn) things sometimes most of the time.  I don’t cook with recipes unless I’m in the mood for a Fun Project.  It is not unusual for me to go to the store and buy a bunch of things that happen to make me hungry, bring them home, line them […]

On Eating

8 Aug

1017289_10152058492458289_1014520377_n

“Food”  [nationofchange.org] I heard some thing on NPR today about processed food.  I have no idea what they were talking about, as is usually the case when I turn on NPR, because I’m never in the car for that long.  I’m not sure who IS ever in the car for that long.  They don’t exactly […]

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