The Maladroit Wife

This is not the kind of thing I’d normally write about, but several people have asked me how things, like, go when you fly alone with an infant.  I’m approaching level 398 in the Candy Crush Saga of infant travel, so I’m pretty good (I have no idea, I just googled how many levels there are […]

I eat a lot of Annie’s Mac & Cheese.  It comes in lots of flavors…  yellow, white, tuna, Mexican…  Most days, I like the white one.  It has the strongest cheezy flavor, and it’s All Natural.  I’m completely obsessed with nutrition lately – much to the teethgrinding of my husband, who prefers pizza to all […]

“Shapewear” is not my style.  I say, wear what looks good on you.  Don’t wear what doesn’t look good on you.  Maaaybe don’t wear your underwear 3 sizes too small so that you don’t get those pinchy rolls under your clothes. But sometimes, wear Spanx. Not all the time, just on special occasions.  Let me […]

Who would be offended?? I didn’t realize that I had hit the age where there were men for whom I am too old.  There was a new bartender at my regular bar (which I’m hardly ever inside of anymore, which could possibly have been my first clue) and I asked one of the guys how […]

My husband and I are just like Danny and Sandy, except I’m the dark, mysterious one and he’s the blond with the legs.  Other than that, though, it’s the same.  Very little conversation, only singing and dancing. But really, I’m pretty into grease right now.  Not ONLY does it make bad food taste good, it […]

This 5K thing may not hold a permanent spot in my life.  I haven’t yet learned to listen to pain until it completely stops me, so I’ve been limping around for the last couple of days (no, I have not completely dropped the baby) swearing up and down that I WILL DO THIS 5K THIS […]

I’m cleaning, and it’s the kind of cleaning where I’m finding bookstore receipts from 2007 (I did not live in this house in 2007), jewelry I wore in college, and random wedding cards.  In one of these wedding cards, I found some helpful hints from the 50s.  Assuming that some of you are drawn to […]

Yes. Do you know this song?  It’s very catchy at this time of year. Did you eat fluffernutter sammiches?  Or dig through the hot cocoa mix to get the extra “marshmallows” out of the bottom?  Actually, if we’re having confessional, I preferred RediWhip with my peanut butter.  But I’m definitely the reason there are no […]

His mother said I could bring a vegetable to Thanksgiving.  This is kind of a big deal – she’s got a system and I don’t think most people try to force their culinary efforts on that system.  Well, we all know I’m not most people. I put some thought into this, polled the audience, etc.  […]

Okay, my life is back to normal for a few weeks.  Nobody is traveling anywhere this month, there are no major work functions on days that I’m not supposed to work, and I might actually get more than half a load of laundry done per week.  What does that mean for you?  Well, that I […]