Greased Lightning

14 Dec


My husband and I are just like Danny and Sandy, except I’m the dark, mysterious one and he’s the blond with the legs.  Other than that, though, it’s the same.  Very little conversation, only singing and dancing.

But really, I’m pretty into grease right now.  Not ONLY does it make bad food taste good, it is also good for your skin.  And probably your hair, but I haven’t gone there yet.

This is my arsenal:

Petro-grease, food-grade grease, and sticky grease.  Gross.

I’ve used Vaseline on my skin for ages.  Any time I have a little spot that I’m inclined to fuss with, I Vaseline it overnight and it’s gone.  Pro tip: put a little lemon juice on it right before the Vaseline and that will REALLY send a message.  It’s also great to put in your socks overnight if you have gross feet.  The one thing I can’t stand it as: lip balm.  Too greasy.

Coconut oil is new to me (thanks, Mom).  Last time I visited my mom, she gave me a jar of it and a washcloth and ordered me to smear it all over my face, and then wipe it off with a warm washcloth.  Kind of like cold cream (which is also neat stuff) back in the day.  I like this better, though, because it’s organic.  As much as I love Vaseline, I think it smells bad and I don’t really like putting it on my skin.  I’ve stepped my coconut oil treatment up a little recently – instead of a warm washcloth, I get that sucker as hot as I can and hold it on my face for a few seconds until it cools a little.  Steam, pores, etc.  I have read that people will do this at night and then just splash water on their face in the morning.  Most days I wash in the morning, but I’ve dared to skip it a couple times with no consequences.

EDUCATIONAL INTERLUDE:
There’s actually history here.  In the olden days at the Roman public baths, which are falling apart and huge and weird looking, people bathed in oil.  They would grease themselves up like little pigs and squeegee themselves off.  Oil dissolves oil, so it works.  Who knew?

Finally, castor oil.  Thanks again, Mom.  She said this would make my feet soft.  I’m really incredibly lazy about moisturizing my feet, so I don’t use it for that.  But last winter, I started putting eeety beeety drops of it on my face.  It’s really gross stuff, very thick and sticky.  Recently, though, I read that it has all KINDS of weird properties.  It breaks down scar tissue.  It regenerates hair growth.  It contains ricinoleic acid which is a skin ninja that kills bad stuff and keep your face pretty.  I’ve read that you can use the grease approach for cleaning your face with a blend of castor and olive oils.  Adjust the balance for your skin type: more oily, more castor oil.  Dry: more olive oil.

Keep it up and your face will look like this!

…but your head won’t be that big.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

4 Responses to “Greased Lightning”

  1. Marsha 14 December 2012 at 7:53 am #

    Your coconut oil is a GREAT thing in the kitchen as well, my friend. Has the ability to slow and reverse dementia and memory loss. Tasteless, odorless and kind of a nice feel on the tongue. I would not butter my toast with it, but it (and a dab of butter) are miraculous in the frying pan.

  2. Rachel 14 December 2012 at 9:06 am #

    I use coconut oil for EVERYTHING! I use it to butter toast, for my walnut and cilantro pesto recipe which is a staple in our house, and I use it as the only moisturizer on my face. I buy through Tropical Traditions. It is Fabulous!

  3. Kate 15 December 2012 at 12:04 am #

    Subtle baby picture- ACCEPTED!
    I’M TOTALLY ON THE COCONUT OIL KICK, TOO! I’ve been using it as lotion and washing my face with it, more or less. Neato.
    This castor oil business sounds intriguing. Love it.

Trackbacks and Pingbacks

  1. Very Recent History: Farming Is No Vacation | The Maladroit Wife - 22 January 2013

    […] I haven’t washed my face in 15 days.  I didn’t bring face wash on my trip because I knew that coconut oil would be […]

Leave a Reply