New Year’s Revolutions

31 Dec

I feel like they are more like “revolutions” because of their cyclical nature.  How many times can I resolve to lose 5 pounds or stop being late all the time or stop toying with the pedestrians before it’s not really a “resolution” anymore?  Whatever, it’s tradition.  Here we go with the mostly old, occasionally new, revoresolutions.

1.  Get in shape.  This is not a constant for me, as I’m usually in pretty good shape.  This year, it’s more of an effort, and I’m giving myself until April.  April is when I will board a ship with 1000 of my closest friends and float in the general direction of the Bahamas.  I’m uncomfortable in public swimsuit situations when I’m in the Best Shape Of My Life.  Motivation, thy name is Royal Caribbean.
I’m gonna look foxy like the Biebs.

2.  Be nice.  Seriously.  Especially as I venture back into dancing with my husband.  Most people think that dancing with your husband is soooo romantic.  Well, it isn’t.  There are a few of us who understand that the deepest, darkest, most vile parts of your soul are revealed on the dance floor, and nowhere else.  It’s especially bad when you know more about leading than your partner seems too.  OOH, see?  I can’t even get through a paragraph.  BE NICE.  Seriously.
tina sparkle is real
Tina Sparkle happens.

3.  Clean the #*$@&  %!^@$ house.  Every day.  Just do it.  This new apartment we have is small, which is not awful, but we had filled a pretty big house before we moved into it.  So “cleaning” will continue to involve purging, which is good.  I’m convinced that Stuff makes you miserable.  The Stuff I have that doesn’t make me miserable is pretty limited: a couple of candles.  The nice wine glasses.  My chapstick.  The rest of it?  In my way.  Clean it up.
clean it now

4.  Write more.  This kind of goes along with being nice.  I firmly believe that the best use of the internet is to make people laugh and/or hungry.  Both at once is like winning Powerball.  I can choose to get cranky about any number of things that happen in my day, or I can look at them as funny and ridiculous and share them with the four of you.  Option B, please, and more often.

5.  Keep running.  I hate running, but it turns out that I don’t hate it as much as I thought.  I got out of my car yesterday, and as the 18-degree air hit me, MY FIRST THOUGHT was, “Ooh, it’s nice running weather!”  I don’t know who I am or which way is up or how long Reagan has been in office, but it is my goal to still be doing this at the end of 2013.

Um, I think that’s enough.  Eat less, crab less, clean more, write more, run more.  And keep the baby alive.  That one’s for you, Mom.

Maladroit out.

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4 Responses to “New Year’s Revolutions”

  1. Mom 31 December 2012 at 10:43 am #

    Thanks for that one :)

  2. Madolynn 31 December 2012 at 10:58 am #

    I’m very impressed with your running!! You have come a long way since the first 5k in October!! Keep it up! And yes, please write more. You definitely succeed in making me laugh and making me hungry! Happy new year and please continue to keep that sweet baby alive. :)

    • themaladroitwife 31 December 2012 at 11:34 am #

      Thanks chica!

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  1. Stupid Lady | The Maladroit Wife - 1 March 2013

    […] wrote about some New Year’s Resolutions a while back.  Like, around the new year.  I don’t remember what I said anymore, but I DO […]

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