The Maladroit Wife

That’s how my mom’s phone spells “quinoa.”  She’s trying to learn the T9 spelling thing.  It’s cute. Have you had quinoa?  I’m new to it.  It’s kind of amazing.  It’s sort of like brown rice+cous cous, but so much better for you!  One cup of the stuff – cooked – has 8 grams of protein […]

Only I have brown hair.  And nothing is ever quiiiiite right.  And sometimes that’s how I eat my porridge. That avocado pasta I made the other night?  NOT a fan of the shrimp!  I got some good quality “salad shrimp” from one of the high end stores here.  They weren’t the teeny tiny ones I […]

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this movie… it’s cute!  You should watch it. In a few days, I will be a landlady.  Or a slumlady, as I am certain that the minute we hand the keys to someone else, the place will completely fall apart and we’ll be stuck with rent, a mortgage, and $3.7 […]

Folks, I’ve been busy.  I think that the best way to ensure world domination is to diversify, so I’ve tried a few new things. It turns out that sewing is kind of a pain… BUT the finished product is worth it.  And anyway, I have a cute, vintagey sewing machine so I tried my hand […]

I almost started this with an apology for being absent from the blogosphere or whatever they call it for more than 3 weeks, but who am I kidding.  Hi, Mom.  I’m writing again. You should probably sit down for what I’m going to say next…. Paula Deen may have diabetes. How are you feeling?  Can […]

Yes. Do you know this song?  It’s very catchy at this time of year. Did you eat fluffernutter sammiches?  Or dig through the hot cocoa mix to get the extra “marshmallows” out of the bottom?  Actually, if we’re having confessional, I preferred RediWhip with my peanut butter.  But I’m definitely the reason there are no […]

Have you ever lived in an apartment building?  Did you ever see your neighbors?  Were their ethnic backgrounds different than yours?  Did you wonder what on EARTH they were eating for dinner? I didn’t actually discover curry until I was about 21, but once I tried it I was hooked.  I had a neighbor for […]

His mother said I could bring a vegetable to Thanksgiving.  This is kind of a big deal – she’s got a system and I don’t think most people try to force their culinary efforts on that system.  Well, we all know I’m not most people. I put some thought into this, polled the audience, etc.  […]

I think I’d say my main wifely skill is cooking, so I’m sure you can imagine the existential crisis that followed my two (in one week!) recent kitchen failures. First up: chocolate covered banana bites.  Bluth bananas, if you will. The plan was to cover a baking sheet in crushed peanuts, and then melt some […]

Handkerchiefs are a weird thing.  I get that they’re green, and that maybe disposable tissues didn’t always exist.  But unless you’re using them to roll up your jewelry for traveling… GROSS.  There’s nothing worse than someone using their hanky and putting it back. in. their. POCKET. So… you can imagine my inner conflict at making […]