The Maladroit Wife

That was the only funny cartoon I could find on the topic of the Sabbath.  Valid question! For about 3 months, I’ve been waiting for my husband to leave.  I thought he was going to leave in June, but it got pushed to July.  It’s not that I don’t want him around, you all know […]

I’ve been diagnosed by a Real Doctor as a big fat wimp.  Sissypants.  Merriam Webster says here that a variant of sissypants is sissybritches.  I like that one. The word she threw at me was “vasovagal.”  I googled it.  The Mayo Clinic defines it like this: “Vasovagal syncope (vay-zo-VAY-gul SING-cuh-pee) is the most common cause […]

That’s how my mom’s phone spells “quinoa.”  She’s trying to learn the T9 spelling thing.  It’s cute. Have you had quinoa?  I’m new to it.  It’s kind of amazing.  It’s sort of like brown rice+cous cous, but so much better for you!  One cup of the stuff – cooked – has 8 grams of protein […]

Folks, I’ve been busy.  I think that the best way to ensure world domination is to diversify, so I’ve tried a few new things. It turns out that sewing is kind of a pain… BUT the finished product is worth it.  And anyway, I have a cute, vintagey sewing machine so I tried my hand […]

I almost started this with an apology for being absent from the blogosphere or whatever they call it for more than 3 weeks, but who am I kidding.  Hi, Mom.  I’m writing again. You should probably sit down for what I’m going to say next…. Paula Deen may have diabetes. How are you feeling?  Can […]

Have you ever lived in an apartment building?  Did you ever see your neighbors?  Were their ethnic backgrounds different than yours?  Did you wonder what on EARTH they were eating for dinner? I didn’t actually discover curry until I was about 21, but once I tried it I was hooked.  I had a neighbor for […]

Thanksgiving was complete with the trip over the river and through the woods, but without any grandmothers.  Just one grandfather in a hat. The sprouts were fine.  Not brilliant, but fine.  That’s probably good, since I hate how much I intimidate others with all my brilliance.  Anyway, I didn’t actually burn them until I reheated […]

His mother said I could bring a vegetable to Thanksgiving.  This is kind of a big deal – she’s got a system and I don’t think most people try to force their culinary efforts on that system.  Well, we all know I’m not most people. I put some thought into this, polled the audience, etc.  […]

I will never understand why cleaning something once isn’t enough.  If I clean it, it should stay clean.  End of discussion.  Anything else is a total waste of my time. Cut to Actual Conversation in my house: Me: Um, why did you do that in the closet? Him: What? Me: Why?  The towels! Him: What?? […]

I think I’d say my main wifely skill is cooking, so I’m sure you can imagine the existential crisis that followed my two (in one week!) recent kitchen failures. First up: chocolate covered banana bites.  Bluth bananas, if you will. The plan was to cover a baking sheet in crushed peanuts, and then melt some […]