The Maladroit Wife

I’ve got a new adventure. I’ve been trying to get rid of junk for a while.  Well, now I’ve committed.  We’re downsizing.  No, that’s not a strong enough word.  We’re undersizing.  Subsizing?  Centeroftheearthsizing… The 24oo square feet we’ve not been filling for the last couple of years is going to go to some people who [...]

Folks, I’ve been busy.  I think that the best way to ensure world domination is to diversify, so I’ve tried a few new things. It turns out that sewing is kind of a pain… BUT the finished product is worth it.  And anyway, I have a cute, vintagey sewing machine so I tried my hand [...]

I’m cleaning, and it’s the kind of cleaning where I’m finding bookstore receipts from 2007 (I did not live in this house in 2007), jewelry I wore in college, and random wedding cards.  In one of these wedding cards, I found some helpful hints from the 50s.  Assuming that some of you are drawn to [...]

I almost started this with an apology for being absent from the blogosphere or whatever they call it for more than 3 weeks, but who am I kidding.  Hi, Mom.  I’m writing again. You should probably sit down for what I’m going to say next…. Paula Deen may have diabetes. How are you feeling?  Can [...]

Yes. Do you know this song?  It’s very catchy at this time of year. Did you eat fluffernutter sammiches?  Or dig through the hot cocoa mix to get the extra “marshmallows” out of the bottom?  Actually, if we’re having confessional, I preferred RediWhip with my peanut butter.  But I’m definitely the reason there are no [...]

Have you ever lived in an apartment building?  Did you ever see your neighbors?  Were their ethnic backgrounds different than yours?  Did you wonder what on EARTH they were eating for dinner? I didn’t actually discover curry until I was about 21, but once I tried it I was hooked.  I had a neighbor for [...]

I don’t know much about the zombie craze lately, but there have been a lot of them wandering around my city.  There’s an entire bar devoted to it!  I’m not really sure what my issue has been lately, but it seems they’ve gotten my brain.  Unable to form sentences.  I missed you, too! Let me [...]

Thanksgiving was complete with the trip over the river and through the woods, but without any grandmothers.  Just one grandfather in a hat. The sprouts were fine.  Not brilliant, but fine.  That’s probably good, since I hate how much I intimidate others with all my brilliance.  Anyway, I didn’t actually burn them until I reheated [...]

His mother said I could bring a vegetable to Thanksgiving.  This is kind of a big deal – she’s got a system and I don’t think most people try to force their culinary efforts on that system.  Well, we all know I’m not most people. I put some thought into this, polled the audience, etc.  [...]

I will never understand why cleaning something once isn’t enough.  If I clean it, it should stay clean.  End of discussion.  Anything else is a total waste of my time. Cut to Actual Conversation in my house: Me: Um, why did you do that in the closet? Him: What? Me: Why?  The towels! Him: What?? [...]