The Maladroit Wife

As long as I’m not going to be late for something, I kind of like getting lost.  You get to see new things, and you get to figure your way out of whatever you’ve gotten into.  It’s fun!  Try it sometime! I have a general disregard for “directions” and “instructions” and “other people’s ideas.”  Okay, […]

We have a mouse. IN OUR @!#^ING HOUSE. To be fair (to me and to my borderline housekeeping skillz), the mouse is a result of a basement renovation.  Not a result of tasty treats all over the kitchen floor. I was visiting my mom when the mouse was discovered, which led to all kinds of imagining […]

I don’t think it will be too long before there is some kind of “National Pin Day.”  I think that schools and offices should be closed, and not just some of them.  All of them.  And everyone will spend the day crafting and cooking and organizing, all projects inspired by pins. Yesterday was Pinterest Food […]

I need a job. So, remember when “e commerce” was getting huge and everyone was out to make their dot com fortune? Well… I don’t like to rush a trend. Case in point: I just recently obtained (thanks to my quick-thinking mother in law) a pair of those mint green skinny pants that were so […]

I ran the Get Lucky 7k this weekend.  The whole thing.  And now I have a “finisher’s medal,” which I sort of object to in principle – I did not win, I am not a winner – and a sweatshirt that says “7K & Half Marathon.”  I’m comfortable letting people assume I ran either one. […]

As I mentioned, I managed to do all our weekly budgeted grocery shopping at fancy pants places last weekend.  One of the things I bought was a chicken.  A whole one.  I’ve never cooked one before.  It seems like a good thing to cook for supper, you know, for your family.  Warm.  Wholesome.  Made with […]

I got caught up in the whole Mad Men thing right along with everyone else.  I haven’t caught up with the last few seasons, but I’m totally going to one of these days.  It’s one of my inspirations for the way I do this whole stuck-at-home thing.  You know, the way things “used to be,” […]

I had a job about a decade ago that caused me to stress out, gain weight, and crab at anyone inside of a 13-mile radius.  It’s a complete wonder that my roommates from those years still love me, but they claim to.  They may still have drinking meetings about me, though, who knows.  Anyway, I […]

“Shapewear” is not my style.  I say, wear what looks good on you.  Don’t wear what doesn’t look good on you.  Maaaybe don’t wear your underwear 3 sizes too small so that you don’t get those pinchy rolls under your clothes. But sometimes, wear Spanx. Not all the time, just on special occasions.  Let me […]

I don’t like to sweat.  I don’t like to get up, I don’t like to move, I don’t like to be bothered.  I like to read and watch TV and play around on the computer. I also don’t like to have no muscle, though, so for most of my adult life, I’ve whined my way […]