The Maladroit Wife

My career has taken me all over the country. To Manhattan, to the Vegas strip, to the beachfront in Miami, just to name a few. Because of these opportunities, I was able to complete the obstacle course set forth by the TSA like it was an Olympic time trial. Those days are OVER. The small […]

And I fell. [narscosmetics.com] I know things, okay?  And I will tell you about them.  Sometimes I won’t even wait for you to ask.  Like the time I told you how to fly with your babies.  All of this was based entirely on one of two things happening: either you have someone with you or […]

This is not the kind of thing I’d normally write about, but several people have asked me how things, like, go when you fly alone with an infant.  I’m approaching level 398 in the Candy Crush Saga of infant travel, so I’m pretty good (I have no idea, I just googled how many levels there are […]

So, I’ve been busy.  I mean, not THAT busy, but busy enough that I forget how to do dishes and not burn dinner and sit down and write things. But now I’m back.  To sum up: We went on a family vacation.  A cruise, in fact!  That was a big first for me, on all […]

I ran the Get Lucky 7k this weekend.  The whole thing.  And now I have a “finisher’s medal,” which I sort of object to in principle – I did not win, I am not a winner – and a sweatshirt that says “7K & Half Marathon.”  I’m comfortable letting people assume I ran either one. […]

“Vacation” means different things to different people at different times in their lives.  To me, right now, it apparently means leaving my own couch and living room and traveling 1200 miles to sit on my mom’s couch in her living room.  (My dad has his own living room for a few months, and no, he’s […]

Who would be offended?? I didn’t realize that I had hit the age where there were men for whom I am too old.  There was a new bartender at my regular bar (which I’m hardly ever inside of anymore, which could possibly have been my first clue) and I asked one of the guys how […]

The TSA can’t stop me.  I’ve got my bag on the conveyor belt, my shoes in the bin, my liquids out, my ID and boarding pass handy-but-not-in-the-way, I know not to wear belts or sweatshirts, all that.  I say something nice/clever/supercharming to the dude as I go through the scanner, and then shoesbackon and I’m […]

Thanksgiving was complete with the trip over the river and through the woods, but without any grandmothers.  Just one grandfather in a hat. The sprouts were fine.  Not brilliant, but fine.  That’s probably good, since I hate how much I intimidate others with all my brilliance.  Anyway, I didn’t actually burn them until I reheated […]

You know those guys that stand on the corner and want to talk to you about the environment when you’re racing back to work after grabbing a 32-ounce depth charge because you’ve got a meeting in 12 seconds and there’s no way you’re going to get through it easily?  Well, they are on my corner.  […]