The Maladroit Wife

Have you ever looked up the list of awareness ribbon colors?  Holy moly.  There’s a BUTTER CREAM ribbon.  It is, I kid you not, for lactose intolerant individuals.   The brown ribbon stands for colorectal cancer awareness, or 8th place. I chose brown for my campaign because my favorite alcohols are brown.  I really like dark, […]

As I mentioned, I managed to do all our weekly budgeted grocery shopping at fancy pants places last weekend.  One of the things I bought was a chicken.  A whole one.  I’ve never cooked one before.  It seems like a good thing to cook for supper, you know, for your family.  Warm.  Wholesome.  Made with […]

I had a job about a decade ago that caused me to stress out, gain weight, and crab at anyone inside of a 13-mile radius.  It’s a complete wonder that my roommates from those years still love me, but they claim to.  They may still have drinking meetings about me, though, who knows.  Anyway, I […]

Some of you guys have kids, some of you don’t.  I have something in my house that is not a “kid,” per se, but is definitely not NOT a kid.  Still with me?  It’s a wild ride.  So far, I’ve learned a few things… 1.  When baby naps (as if that happens), you should NOT […]

Only I have brown hair.  And nothing is ever quiiiiite right.  And sometimes that’s how I eat my porridge. That avocado pasta I made the other night?  NOT a fan of the shrimp!  I got some good quality “salad shrimp” from one of the high end stores here.  They weren’t the teeny tiny ones I […]

I don’t know much about the zombie craze lately, but there have been a lot of them wandering around my city.  There’s an entire bar devoted to it!  I’m not really sure what my issue has been lately, but it seems they’ve gotten my brain.  Unable to form sentences.  I missed you, too! Let me […]

First, let me say that renewing your tabs is hard.  I admire all of you who get it done.  Sometimes I get my tabs renewed, but then putting them on the car is hard.  This was not my first tab-related run-in with the law.  I believe it was my fourth. When the nice man pulled […]

My friends are the greatest! They tell me when I’m good at stuff.  Occasionally, they tell me when I’m not so good at stuff.  Example: “You should maybe consider taking your life in a different direction.”  They tell me when I look great, and when I’ve strayed from the looks that I look great in.  […]

Yesterday was Day One of my Week of Good Things.  I’m going to be honest with you – I got a lot done.  First things first, I sat out on the back porch with a cup of coffee and read.  No, wait, that wasn’t even the first thing.  First, I MADE the coffee, then I […]

Seems that a busy work week can put a damper on my intentions to get to this… ironic, given the title of my last post!  Oh well, back on the wagon! We are both control freaks, but of different colors.  Me, I’m a freak about the details.  He is a freak about “the plan” and […]