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The Maladroit Wife | Category Archive | Odds & Ends
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I Have A Disability

3 Apr

facepalm

Everything is a disability these days, amirite? I get it, life is hard.  I have volunteered with the Special Olympics, and those are some amazing folks.  But all the disabilities?  It’s like saying everyone is unique.  Or everyone is a winner.  At a certain point, we are ALL disabled and it all sort of loses its […]

Well, Do Ya, Punk?

20 Mar

shamrock

I ran the Get Lucky 7k this weekend.  The whole thing.  And now I have a “finisher’s medal,” which I sort of object to in principle – I did not win, I am not a winner – and a sweatshirt that says “7K & Half Marathon.”  I’m comfortable letting people assume I ran either one. […]

You’re Not Supposed To Be Drinking

8 Mar

stressed

I had a job about a decade ago that caused me to stress out, gain weight, and crab at anyone inside of a 13-mile radius.  It’s a complete wonder that my roommates from those years still love me, but they claim to.  They may still have drinking meetings about me, though, who knows.  Anyway, I […]

What Nobody Tells You

5 Mar

runner

I don’t like to sweat.  I don’t like to get up, I don’t like to move, I don’t like to be bothered.  I like to read and watch TV and play around on the computer. I also don’t like to have no muscle, though, so for most of my adult life, I’ve whined my way […]

Lenten Pants

13 Feb

mad baby teneightymedia

Some of you guys have kids, some of you don’t.  I have something in my house that is not a “kid,” per se, but is definitely not NOT a kid.  Still with me?  It’s a wild ride.  So far, I’ve learned a few things… 1.  When baby naps (as if that happens), you should NOT […]

Very Recent History: Farming Is No Vacation

22 Jan

coco

“Vacation” means different things to different people at different times in their lives.  To me, right now, it apparently means leaving my own couch and living room and traveling 1200 miles to sit on my mom’s couch in her living room.  (My dad has his own living room for a few months, and no, he’s […]

Check, Check, and Check

11 Jan

TSA man

The TSA can’t stop me.  I’ve got my bag on the conveyor belt, my shoes in the bin, my liquids out, my ID and boarding pass handy-but-not-in-the-way, I know not to wear belts or sweatshirts, all that.  I say something nice/clever/supercharming to the dude as I go through the scanner, and then shoesbackon and I’m […]

Didn’t See THAT Coming

9 Jan

hobby

I like to start new hobbies. That’s all. I started knitting/crocheting once.  Now I have a bag full of yarn.  I started making jewelry once.  I actually made a bunch of it as gifts for people who helped out with our wedding, but now I have a bag of beads and tools.  I started sewing […]

New Year’s Revolutions

31 Dec

biebs

I feel like they are more like “revolutions” because of their cyclical nature.  How many times can I resolve to lose 5 pounds or stop being late all the time or stop toying with the pedestrians before it’s not really a “resolution” anymore?  Whatever, it’s tradition.  Here we go with the mostly old, occasionally new, […]

Very Recent History: Obsessive Obsessive Disorder

18 Dec

gman

I feel like I’ve been in pursuit of various things lately, with maybe a little more anticipation than these things warrant.  But you can’t know if something is great until you try it, and anticipation is so fun!  So I obsess.  Sometimes my obsessions lead me to greatness, sometimes they lead me to yellow water. […]

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