The Maladroit Wife

I don’t know much about the zombie craze lately, but there have been a lot of them wandering around my city.  There’s an entire bar devoted to it!  I’m not really sure what my issue has been lately, but it seems they’ve gotten my brain.  Unable to form sentences.  I missed you, too! Let me […]

Thanksgiving was complete with the trip over the river and through the woods, but without any grandmothers.  Just one grandfather in a hat. The sprouts were fine.  Not brilliant, but fine.  That’s probably good, since I hate how much I intimidate others with all my brilliance.  Anyway, I didn’t actually burn them until I reheated […]

His mother said I could bring a vegetable to Thanksgiving.  This is kind of a big deal – she’s got a system and I don’t think most people try to force their culinary efforts on that system.  Well, we all know I’m not most people. I put some thought into this, polled the audience, etc.  […]

I will never understand why cleaning something once isn’t enough.  If I clean it, it should stay clean.  End of discussion.  Anything else is a total waste of my time. Cut to Actual Conversation in my house: Me: Um, why did you do that in the closet? Him: What? Me: Why?  The towels! Him: What?? […]

I’m going through a time of trial. It’s not that I have problems, just a job and a kitchen and a laundry basket.  But I can’t deal with those things now, so I escape to the interwebs for pictures of other ladies’ clean kitchens and folded laundry.  Some days it’s the only way his lungs […]

I have a job (career?) on which I spend many, many hours, both mentally and physically.  I also have “hobbies,” like cooking, cleaning, wiping down the countertops, and doing laundry.  I don’t have “hobbies” like going to concerts, golfing, or being an auto enthusiast.  Basically, outside of my taste in shoes, I’m a pretty cheap […]

I think I’d say my main wifely skill is cooking, so I’m sure you can imagine the existential crisis that followed my two (in one week!) recent kitchen failures. First up: chocolate covered banana bites.  Bluth bananas, if you will. The plan was to cover a baking sheet in crushed peanuts, and then melt some […]

          Dreams DO come true!  For those of you who have been keeping up with me this month, I’ve been chipping away at this house since October 6th.  I put a little effort into it almost every day, and took two full days off of work to clean.  Something in my […]

      It started like this…  Me: “Your car is pulling to the left.”  Him: “Yeah, I noticed that, but you know how sometimes you think it’s in your head?”  Me: “No.  It’s either pulling or it isn’t.”  Him: “_____.” In our defense, this was at 5am on the way to the airport, so […]

I vacuumed.  The spaghetti squash is out of the oven.  The house has a cozy, fall thing going, and the game is on.  Time to write!  My thoughts keep wandering within the subject of purpose/intention/self/others (yes, that is A subject), so this might be a little scattered. I remember seeing “Think global, act local” on […]